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Sarah Palin vs. Family Guy: Something, Something, Something… Dumbass

February 17, 2010

Ok, so we all know by now that Sarah Palin is multi-faceted. I mean, of course, that she goes so far beyond ‘two-faced’ that we have to step the description up a bit. She seems to have multiple personalities, each appearing to suit the situation. Sometimes, she’s the loving parent of a disabled child (who also calls her child “the little retard”). At other times, she’s the dedicated political candidate ready to serve her country through years of good and bad (who then quits as Governor [of that state no one knew had an active government] because it doesn’t fit her money-making schedule). More recently, she’s the righteous attacker of a senior White House official for using a word that she wholly defends when used by Jabba the Rush. And now, she’s biting the hand that feeds her – Fox TV.

Yes, she’s a Fox commentator who has decided to attack the Fox mainstay “Family Guy” because they made a joke about her. Sure, she says it’s because she’s protecting her family, but I’m pretty sure that if the joke had ended at chick-with-Downs-that-turns-out-to-be-just-like-every-other-stuck-up-high-school-chick, she never would have said a word. But Seth made the mistake of referencing the former Governor of Alaska and Palin suddenly took notice.

Thanks to Palin, satire is no longer free speech. Stand-up comedians can’t crack jokes about public figures, TV shows can’t satirize public figures, and politicians can’t call other politicians retarded without offending some other FORMER politician who doesn’t even know the three fundamental pieces of the conservative platform without writing them on her hand in junior-high-school scrawl.

If anyone out there actually takes her seriously, please re-board your spaceship and leave the Earth forever. I propose a simple law – if you publically profess your support of Sarah Palin as a 2012 candidate for… well, anything… then you should be euthanized immediately to protect society from your particular form of possibly-contagious stupidity. She has made every effort to prove herself incompetent. Please, listen to her cries, and move on with your life. I’m sure there’s a rerun of Jersey Shore you can be promoting for an Emmy.

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